First up: Gay Dads (A Celebration of Fatherhood)
If you know of any books I should be reading (especially for older adoptions) let me know!
I am only a couple chapters in, but I’m already more nervous than I was before. The book was published in 2004 which isn’t very long ago (but it seems so far long ago) and gay couples seem to have such a hard time adopting. In the stories, the state where the couple is located is not mentioned (or at least in the stories I have read so far), but what the couples have went through are super rough times.
My worries so far are:
· Some agencies basically told a couple “good luck, nobody will allow a gay couple to adopt their child unless there is something severely wrong”. That scares me to death. It breaks my heart on both sides of that statement. Why is the only option for gay couples severely disabled children? Also that there are children out there with disabilities and no families want to adopt them or can commit the time.
· One couple told the agency they wanted an infant but the agency offered them a 13 yr old and a 6 yr old. Last time I checked that wasn’t an infant.
· Even some families seemed homophobic about the adoptions. Some of the family members were questioning the couples pursuing adoption because the child is going to have hard enough life and to have gay parents as well is just so much. The family situation is different for everybody. I feel if my family questioned my desire to adopt, that it would be more out of concern but it just proves the point that gay parents are seen differently. Will we ever be seen as the same?
So far I've only read about couples that want to adopt infants, so I hope to find somewhere in my four books read – a – thon more families that want to adopt older adopt older children. That is my story.
I hope the fact that I live in such a great city that is so tolerant and loving, that this process will be easier for us. Don’t get me wrong, there will be hurdle after hurdle to get through to the end.
The orientation is only a month and 12 days away and I am counting basically every hour. Until then I’m going to keep reading and try to stay busy so I don’t go too crazy.