Tomorrow is the day
Tomorrow we finally get to go to orientation. I am so excited about it. So many concerns and questions are running through my brain, I can hardly wait to have them all answered.
- What classes do we need to take in order to adopt
- What are the age ranges? (In the specific organization they are older but what ages?)
- How do we narrow down our search for a child?
- How do decide between an open or closed adoption?
- With an older child how do you make the transition to make them feel at home?
These are just a few that I have thought about for a while.
In the organization we are meeting with there are 13 steps. Just looking at them makes me anxious.
Here are all the steps:
- Call Adoption SF (DONE)
- Attend orientation (As of tomorrow DONE)
- Fill out the Family Fact Sheet
- Personal interview
- Training program
- Home study interviews (4-6 months)
- Match with a waiting child
- Visitation with child
- Child placed in home as foster child
- Adoption process begins
- Negotiation of adoption
- Assistance Program financial aid
- Finalization of adoption
These steps seem intense but most important.
Here are my thoughts on the steps that I have been thinking about the most:
(besides the actual adoption of a child of course J )
Personal interview – I think will be the most interesting. What will they ask? I’m sure they will ask everything around the sun. I wonder if it will feel like I’m back in the principal’s office.
Home study interviews – Our home is always in place and looking nice. I wonder what else? Do we need to child proof stuff just in case? What will the 4 – 6 month study interviews go over?
Renegotiation of adoption – I believe this is when you speak with or about the birth parents about an open or closed adoption. The reading I have done over this seems to me there are so many different options it’s kind of doing what you feel is best on both terms. Jose I think would prefer a closed adoption but I don’t know if I’m full on either side. My heart tells me closed adoption but my mind sometimes opens up about the open adoption because I also feel for the birth parents and if the child has seen them through out their lives, why take that away from them? I know it will be hard on any outcome but what is best for our child we will figure that out when the time comes.
Enough about the steps,
Reading books on gay adoption is wonderful and the problems are scary but making it a reality will be much harder than just reading about them. No matter how hard it will be, I’m ready to be a father. It’s funny really; Jose and I the other day were talking about the time span of adoption. I told Jose that it could be until the end of the year depending on how fast we want to get through the classes and such. He quickly told me he wanted to way until next summer.
I feel if we are ready now, let’s do this now. However I feel we both might re-discuss the time frame after we go to orientation and the process begins. I feel we can’t really plan everything out like we hope. We are true planners and I feel like this is going to be a rude awakening in a good way. I think this experience will help “chill” us out a little more.
Tomorrow will be a hard day to get through because the orientation is 6 – 8pm so hopefully the clock will tick by faster than normal.
I know orientation is just the very VERY tip of the iceberg but to me it’s the important step to take (and we are wanting to take) that will change your life and start building a family the best you know how. That my friends is what I’m excited for.
Wish us luck and can’t wait to fill you in. Hopefully I can get a good nights rest but I’m probably too amped up to really sleep. However showing up tomorrow with dark circles around your eyes isn’t the best first impression either.