Orientation is TOMORROW!!

Tomorrow is the day

Tomorrow we finally get to go to orientation.  I am so excited about it.  So many concerns and questions are running through my brain, I can hardly wait to have them all answered.

Like: 

• What classes do we need to take in order to adopt
• What are the age ranges? (In the specific organization they are older but what ages?)
• How do we narrow down our search for a child?
• How do decide between an open or closed adoption?
• With an older child how do you make the transition to make them feel at home?

These are just a few that I have thought about for a while. 

In the organization we are meeting with there are 13 steps.  Just looking at them makes me anxious.

Here are all the steps:

1. Call Adoption SF (DONE)
2. Attend orientation (As of tomorrow DONE)
3. Fill out the Family Fact Sheet
4. Personal interview
5. Training program
6. Home study interviews (4-6 months)
7. Match with a waiting child
8. Visitation with child
9. Child placed in home as foster child
10. Adoption process begins
11. Negotiation of adoption
12. Assistance Program financial aid
13. Finalization of adoption

These steps seem intense but most important.  

Here are my thoughts on the steps that I have been thinking about the most:

(besides the actual adoption of a child of course J )

Personal interview – I think will be the most interesting.  What will they ask?  I’m sure they will ask everything around the sun.  I wonder if it will feel like I’m back in the principal’s office.

Home study interviews – Our home is always in place and looking nice.  I wonder what else?  Do we need to child proof stuff just in case?  What will the 4 – 6 month study interviews go over? 

Renegotiation of adoption – I believe this is when you speak with or about the birth parents about an open or closed adoption.  The reading I have done over this seems to me there are so many different options it’s kind of doing what you feel is best on both terms.  Jose I think would prefer a closed adoption but I don’t know if I’m full on either side.  My heart tells me closed adoption but my mind sometimes opens up about the open adoption because I also feel for the birth parents and if the child has seen them through out their lives, why take that away from them? I know it will be hard on any outcome but what is best for our child we will figure that out when the time comes.

Enough about the steps,

Reading books on gay adoption is wonderful and the problems are scary but making it a reality will be much harder than just reading about them.  No matter how hard it will be, I’m ready to be a father.  It’s funny really; Jose and I the other day were talking about the time span of adoption.  I told Jose that it could be until the end of the year depending on how fast we want to get through the classes and such.  He quickly told me he wanted to way until next summer. 

I feel if we are ready now, let’s do this now.  However I feel we both might re-discuss the time frame after we go to orientation and the process begins.  I feel we can’t really plan everything out like we hope.  We are true planners and I feel like this is going to be a rude awakening in a good way.  I think this experience will help “chill” us out a little more.

Tomorrow will be a hard day to get through because the orientation is 6 – 8pm so hopefully the clock will tick by faster than normal.

I know orientation is just the very VERY tip of the iceberg but to me it’s the important step to take (and we are wanting to take) that will change your life and start building a family the best you know how.  That my friends is what I’m excited for.

Wish us luck and can’t wait to fill you in.  Hopefully I can get a good nights rest but I’m probably too amped up to really sleep.  However showing up tomorrow with dark circles around your eyes isn’t the best first impression either. 

Featured on "Born This Way" blog!

I’m super excited about this blog!  It’s a great blog about people telling their stories with pictures of themselves from super young to about 12 years old.  Some stories are funny, powerful and some are sad.  The stories come from all over the world, it’s such a great idea that Paul came up with.

If you want to follow him on Twitter here is his twitter:  @BornThisWayBlog

Just be warned it’s pretty addictive but very interesting.  There are so many people besides me that have submitted their story’s so start READING already!  If you want to see my story click on the link below!

http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/2011/03/jimmy.html

Hope you enjoy!!  Feel free to comment and don't forget to click

·         Fabulous

·         Funny

·         Cutie!

Or

·         Great Story

Baby Blanket Adventure!!


The reason of wanting to make a baby blanket is that some of our very best friends just adopted a baby girl.  As soon as I heard about it I felt I had to do this.  It’s such a special occasion and I couldn’t think of anything else I could do but make something by hand.

So……..

Finally I was able to meet up with one of my best girlfriends (Ms. Melissa) and put this baby blanket together!

After arriving at 6pm this is what was waiting for me:

Sea bass, fruit, potatoes, asparagus (so yummy)

After literally stuffing my face with some great food and wonderful company, we looked at each other and we said:  the day has come!  Let’s tackle it!



So here are the most important items:

·         Fabric (obviously)

·         Cotton stuffing

·         Thread

·         Satin binding (for the border)

·         Sewing machine

·         Sewing machine manual

·         A very special friend! (this is a MUST have if you are a beginner)

Here is Melissa when we first started



Here is when we couldn't figure out the bobbin.  Or so we thought!!



Guess what?  We were pulling the knob the wrong way!!  THE WHOLE TIME!!!  It wasn't the bobbin.  Once we finally figured out that out the sewing flew by.  I am so proud of us!  I really am.

Here I am with the back of the blanket



I'm trying not to laugh and poke my finger with a needle. 

Here are the pictures of the final product:





Final thought about the baby blanket.  Besided\s the heart to heart with a good friend and really getting to know each other, I really enjoyed making the blanket.  I found it was easier if you have somebody help at first so you can really grasp the project at hand.  Will I make one again?  Sure I will.  Maybe my next one will be for mine?  Or maybe I can up the notch and make a full blanket if we have an older child.  We'll  have to see.  This blanket was only a yard, I can't imagine making a large one. 



Weekend In Sequim

Jose and I in the horse barn

Jose and I went to Washington State to see my family to surprise my sister on her 25^th birthday.  The surprise was great and she was happy.  We had to go because she got into WSU so I don’t know when the next time I will be able to see her.

Happy Birthday Melissa!!

While we were there my mom, my Aunt Wanda and Jose had a chat about adoption.  My mom is very excited about the possibility and a wonderful surprise my aunt is as well.  I just never know what to expect from anybody so when I get a positive response I definitely count my blessings.  We chatted about ages, what issues we can deal with or what we can’t deal with.  It was a very moving conversation (maybe because at that moment I was also going through pictures of my sister and I while we were growing up.  For me, having my family stand with us in the decision emotional and powerful.  My mom made sure to tell us that no matter if the child is biological or adopted, that child will always be loved by them.  My heart sank.  It’s only a little over a week away before orientation and the time has actually flied by. 

While we were visiting Jose and I were walking around looking at the Olympic Mtns, watching the horses run around  and of course trying to stay clear from my family’s evil chickens (I have never liked them, I have a very dark past with chickens).  I realized how lucky I am with the family I have.  I and my sister are both gay and my family is there whole heartedly.  It makes me excited to make my parents, grandparents.  My mom can’t wait to have a child in the family again; there hasn’t been one since my sister grew up.  I sure hope this week and 3 days go by fast.  I just can’t wait!

Family is so important

While cooking dinner last night (it totally turned out delish!!):

 http://holajalapeno.blogspot.com/2010/10/easiest-fried-chicken-recipe.html

I started to think about the importance of family and what role they play in your life.  As much as I would like to think that I personally could make it out there all on my own I honestly don’t know what I would do without my family.  Good or bad they all play a part in my development.  Luckily Jose and I both have such good families, Jose’s mom is so gentle and loving it’s unbelievable.   Even though I have yet learned enough Spanish to keep up a conversation you can feel the love through her actions, her smile, and her laugh.  She has a great laugh.  As far as his sisters, can you say amazing?  They all are nothing short of that.  His nephews and nieces are obviously the cutest; they call me uncle which it’s the funniest.   I love every bit of it.  Becoming a part of Jose’s family was the easiest; right off the back his mom would constantly fill my plate even though I was so old I couldn’t eat another bite.  His sisters talk to me and still quiz me about stuff, and his nieces and nephews tell me about their day to day life which I can’t get enough of.

I believe Jose is such a wonderful man because of his mom and sisters.  He is strong, and knows what he wants and nothing you do will make him feel different.  I have them to thank for such a wonderful husband.

As for me both my parents they taught me if you work hard, things will work out.  I find that to be true for the most part.  My grandparents are a second set of parents to me.  They taught me to always be a good person, never judge and just show who you are.  Just the other day I spoke to my grandma on the phone and she called me her “special guy”.  I’m almost 29 and I still don’t get tired of hearing that.  My sister has always taught me that determination can get you to where you want to go and to never give up.  She is still going after her dream to become a vet even though it may take her a little longer (she is 4 years younger than I am but I have always looked up to her).  To my aunts and uncles except one aunt, they have always loved me no matter what and have always tried to understand me.  They taught me that even if you don’t understand, try.  To that except one aunt, she has taught be that her ignorance will not drag me down anymore.  Even though she told me she couldn’t congratulate me on my marriage to my husband because she thinks what I am is wrong.  I have spent 2 years strongly disliking her and never wanting anybody to mention her name because a fire would burn in my soul.  Now, she no longer controls my feelings.  Do I forgive her?  No, I have just decided to move on and be happy and not to think about how she could do this to me?  Why would she say these things to me?  I stopped caring, it has been the most freeing thing I have ever done.  So what she has taught me is that sometimes ignorance gets the best of people, if they decide not to educate themselves, what can you do?  Just move on and be happy.  I feel since we want a child I need to learn these lessons so everything will be a pro in our child’s life.  I want no anger in our lives, no resentment.  Only love and happiness.



My first pie!!! That’s right, you heard me!



Since I’m trying to learn how to like cooking I decided to dive right in.  Why not bake a pie from total scratch, including the crust.  Crazy right?  A little yes.

On my journey I have found if you make it yourself it means more, or at least you feel better about it.  I have obviously had pies in the past but they were store bought and the taste was never as sweet as my first.

Again this recipe is from my good friend Kate (I like to call her my personal Julia Child).  It’s an easy recipe but for beginners, have fun!!

Things I need to remind myself when I start to cook or bake something new:

·         Don’t be hard on yourself if it doesn’t turn out as you planned.

·         It’s your first time so don’t have an anxiety attack, its ok – just breathe!!!!!

·         When reading directions on how to make it look pretty but you can’t make it look like it, it’s ok – the most important thing is the taste!  J

This pie is not a pie, it’s a masterpiece.  The only thing I did different was use blueberries instead of raspberries. 

http://holajalapeno.blogspot.com/2010/09/peach-raspberry-pie-recipie.html

Funny note about my first time baking this pie!  After crating the crust I decided to put it in my “pie pan” then I noticed uuuummm I bought a cake pan.  Haha so my pie turned out to look more like a cake.  Ooohh this is one for the memory book for sure!  I was wondering why the crust wouldn’t flap over like in Kate’s blog picture. 

Of course after the pie was ready to serve I gave Jose the first piece and said “good luck, hope you survive”, and he did!  He said it was really good, I thought he was lying at first until I saw him get another piece. 

I am starting to find cooking and baking empowering in its own way (especially since the whole time I was baking I blast Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”).  Like I said before, it tastes so much sweeter if you make it yourself.    On to the next project, wish me luck.

To stay in the city or not to stay in the city, that my friends is the question.

     

Deciding to stay in the city or not was actually not a hard decision.  We both love the city, but we both equally agree leaving is the best.  Of course we would never go far because we both work in the city but we can get more space and maybe even our own yard. 

When we discussed leaving the city my point of view is that I grew up in a small town and never lived in an apartment until I moved to Seattle (of course that was before I came to San Francisco).  I just don’t want to raise a child in the city.  I find it overwhelming as it is and I’ve been here for 7 years already.   I do believe raising a child in the city does have benefits to it, I would just rather be able to come back when we want.

The city with our child can be more of an exciting event rather than being an everyday thing.  I actually look forward to leaving.   It just seems the older I get, the louder the city gets.  I find myself going to bed at 9 or 10 and our neighbors are having a party and I can hear every laugh or stomp and I try sleeping with ear plugs. 

I guess I’m just changing and ready for the next move in our life. 

Now trying to figure out where to go will be the harder decision.  Where are the best schools, safer locations, and more things to do with your dog? 

I think these decisions will be a bit more difficult and a lot more compromising.